My Testimony. His Glory


I can't remember who introduced me to Maverick City Music but I have been hooked for months. I honestly don't know if I have listened to much else, not even Anthony Hamilton who is my absolute favorite artist (I've been to at least seven of his concerts, but I digress). The music that Maverick City produces is raw, authentic, and creates an atmosphere of worship that I haven't experienced since I first purchased Live in South Africa by Israel Houghton. 

Today, when I listened to  Love is a Miracle featuring Majesty Rose and Bri Babineaux (for like the 100th time), it ministered to my soul in a different way. At one point in the song they sing:

I remember the voice that called me
I remember when my heart said yes
I will never forget that morning
You were singing over me

These lyrics brought to mind Zephaniah 3:17 AMP, which says

“The Lord your God is in your midst,
A Warrior who saves.
He will rejoice over you with joy;
He will be quiet in His love [making no mention of your past sins],
He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.

My testimony echoes the truth of this scripture and song--

(Photo: "Testimony Tee")

 

I was in church before I could even walk but it wasn't until college that I realized a relationship with Christ was something I should seek after and being a Christian went beyond the confines of Sunday services. I became actively involved with an on-campus ministry and went to a local church regularly. However, before I reached the semester break of my junior year, I was pregnant with my first son.

I can distinctly remember the weight of my shame.

How could I, a bible study leader, church attendee, "Jesus is my homeboy" t-shirt-wearer, walk through campus proudly unmarried and five months pregnant? So, I dropped out. I remember going in the middle of the night to clean out my dorm room so no one would see me. 

Not one family member, friend, or foe made me feel ashamed, and I thank God for that,  but every thought that reverberated through the secret places of my mind, convinced me that God didn't want anything to do with me because of what I had done. I couldn't bring myself to accept the forgiveness of God. 

Until that morning. 

I wish I could give you a specific date and time when God healed me of my shame and I truly experienced a new birth. But I don't know. All I know is that it happened, probably more recently than I care to admit. The fact remains that he sang over me, ever so sweetly; reassuring me that he had not cast me away but he was waiting, patiently for me to bring him all my stuff. 

He wanted it ALL--my heartbreak, my shame, the condemnation that I heaped on my own head. Was he happy with my decisions, heck no!  He grieved my sin. But he saw the end from the beginning and pursued me relentlessly because my purpose was not canceled the day my son was born. Matter of fact, he has opened my eyes to see how every high and low of my twenties has led me to this very moment in my life. Even to this blog.

Those lyrics, that scripture is the Lord's heart for his daughters. I know first hand. My life bears witness. 

Sis, I don't know where you are at this moment. What I do know is that we have so much uncertainty surrounding us and the only thing that is certain and never changing is God's love for you. He wants you, his princess, to wear the crown, no strings attached. Regardless of what you did 10 years ago, 10 days ago or 10 seconds ago. He still wants you (go ahead, point to yourself), he wants to sing over you.

Listen to this short video by Tony Evans, if you are ready for your new morning!

 


Leave a comment